Astroquotes - Quotes by Houston Colt .45s and Astros over the years

Quotes by Houston Colt .45s and Astros over the years
Compiled by Gene Elston

Gene Elston
"The Voice of the Astros"

Colt .45's first baseman Rusty Staub on a visit to the mound to give Hal Woodeshick a bit of advice: "Now this guy is a first ball hitter. He'll either swing at the first pitch or he'll take it."
Astros pitcher Joaquin Andujar claiming he's never had arm trouble. When asked about his four stints on the disabled list: "That wasn't my arm. That was my forearm."
Colt .45's coach Bobby Bragan on the reliance of baseball people on percentages: "Say you were standing with one foot in the oven and one foot in an ice bucket. According to the percentages people, you should be perfectly comfortable."
Astros pitcher Bo Belinsky when asked about receiving a new contract: "I'm not going to ask for more money, I'll just wait and let them come to me and insist I take a raise".
Following the firing of Astros General manager Paul Richards by owner Roy Holfheinz, writer Mickey Herskowitz attempted to console Richards: "Well Paul, there are many times when the judge is his own worst enemy", to which Richards replied: "Not as long as I'm alive!"
Joe Adcock, thoroughbred owner of the Red River Valley Farms in Coushetta, Louisiana, named a foal DON DAVIDSON after the special assistant to the Astros General Manager, Donald Davidson. Davidson, who stood only 48 inches high remarked: "I've finally fulfilled a lifelong ambition. I'm registered with the New York Jockey Club".
Astros Publicity Director Bill Giles when asked how fans in the Astrodome would be able to see the basketball from the Sky Box seats following the announcement that the University of Houston would play UCLA in the newly opened facility replied: " We play baseball here in the dome and fans have no problem seeing the little ball".
Orland Sims, Astros publicity director, on the great amount of time it takes to run off the pole vault event at a track meet: "No wonder they switched from wooden poles to fiberglass poles. The wooden ones were rotting in between jumps".
The Houston Astros, already victimized by two double plays, hit into their third and a frustrated Astros color commentator Bill Worrell screamed: "How many double plays can the Astros hit into with men on base!"
Astros third baseman Doug Rader speaking of his three cars: "All of them have more than 100,000 miles on them. I've got 300,000 miles in my motor pool with a FOR SALE sign on all three. I leave the keys in the ignition and nobody takes them".
Astros Manager Art Howe pondering lineup changes following a 14-run first inning by Cincinnati Reds, asked outfielder-infielder and sometime catcher, Harry Spilman, if he brought his cup with him. Spilman replied: "I don't even watch a game on TV without my cup".
Astros pitcher Joaquin Andujar, who hails from the Dominican Republic: "There is one word in America that says it all and that one word is YOUNEVERKNOW".
Cesar Cedeno, the Astros’ Dominican-born centerfielder: "I never get any endorsements or commercials. I never understood why. I have an accent but so does Ricardo Montalban".
Astros outfielder Billy Hatcher after running head-first into the outfield wall at Busch Stadium in St. Louis, retained his consciousness but was still woozy when his teammates raced to his assistance: "I saw all those white shirts moving toward me and I thought it was the Ku Klux Klan!"
Colt .45's pitcher Bobby Tiefenauer, who would stroll through the clubhouse offering cheery bits of philosophy: "whether you're handsome or ugly, it's nice to have a face".
Third sacker Doug Rader was asked what advice he would give to Little Leaguers: "Eat bubble gum cards. Not the bubble gum, just the cards. They have lots of good information on them about hitting and pitching."
Colt .45's outfielder Al Spangler commenting on other outfielders complaining how difficult it was to catch fly balls in Apache Junction, Arizona, site of the Houston Colt .45's spring training facility from 1962 to 1963. Outfielders complained they couldn't follow the flight of the ball because the Arizona desert was known to have the highest, bluest sky in the world. Spangler, who majored in math at Duke University, sluffed off the problem: "I would merely allow for the force of impact and the rate of descent and could catch the ball while making change for a $20 bill." So, in the first game played, one fly ball drops at Spangler's feet and another falls behind him. After the game, Al explained: "I forgot to figure on the curvature of the Earth."
"I'd rather be losing in the National League than in the Texas League." Astros GM Paul Richards.
Colt .45's rookie pitcher Jim Dickson to roommate John Bateman during spring training: "Open the sliding glass door and let in some fresh air, and the screen too". When Bateman asked: "What for? The air can come through the screen!" Dickson's retort: "I know, but it gets all chopped up!"
Bob Hope on the opening of the Astrodome in 1965: "This is one heck of a place just to be in and watch whatever is going on. If they had a maternity ward and a cemetery you'd never have to leave!"
Bill Giles, Astros publicity director, on mic to inform the press and radio on the condition of a player who had been beaned by a pitched ball and taken to the hospital: "There is a slight concussion but nothing serious as a result of his being hit in the right head."