Another Bush Conspiracy

added 11/8/2010 by Bob Hulsey

I've never met anyone in the Bush family, although I'm sure they are nice and classy people from all I've heard. I've never met Barbara Bush, although I'm sure I'd like her if I ever met her. As the wife of one American president and the mother of another one, I'm sure she finds the spotlight sometimes put upon her as uncomfortable as I would find it.

But, as a Houston sports fan, I must make a special plea to her. Mrs. Bush, please stop attending Houston sports events.

I've noticed this phenomena now for over two decades. When watching a sporting event with my beloved Astros and Mrs. Bush gets in range of the television cameras (a strong possibility as she often takes her seat right behind home plate), the Astros will lose.

She's easy to spot with her familiar mushroom cloud of white hair rising up out of the crowd like a giant q-tip so it's easy to take note of her appearance whenever she's at an Astros game. Barbara Bush in the crowd is as predictable a loss for the Astros as when the Astros don those stupid novelty caps commemorating everything from green energy to breast cancer awareness. Don't even bother watching, just chalk up an 'L' and go spend the next three hours doing something less torturous.

The whole family is not a jinx, at least not in sports. Poppy Bush can appear by himself and the Astros may win. I see his lanky frame attending events with friends or family and Houston sometimes emerges victoriously. His son, Dubya, isn't the problem either although I've rarely seen him appear at Astros games. Rangers fans may feel differently though. Laura Bush is welcome any time.

But, please Barbara, stay home.

You may recall our one trip to the World Series and who was right there behind home plate for both games? And how did the Astros do? Of course you remember!

But Bob, you say, how can you blame those losses on one person in a crowd of over 40,000? Well, lately, I've seen further evidence and also that the Barbara Bush Jinx isn't limited to just the Astros.

In Game Three of this year's World Series in Arlington, Dubya and Laura attended without his parents and the Rangers won. The next night, George and Barbara were there as honored guests for Game Four and the vaunted Ranger offense was shut down by a 21-year-old rookie. The Series was pretty much over after that.

Then came Sunday's NFL contest with the San Diego Chargers visiting the Houston Texans. In the owner's box, there was Barbara and - voila! - the Texans lost a crucial game.

Makes you wonder if she's spent any Saturdays in Austin lately.

Mind you, I have nothing personal against the Bushes. Anyone who knows my politics know I've often taken their side over lo these many years. The Bushes are Republican royalty, the GOP's equivalent of the Kennedy family - minus the tragedies and scandals.

But I simply must point this out so that perhaps, as good citizens of Houston, the Bushes might put an end to our collective suffering at sporting events and stay home more often.

As a political family, the Bushes have been the subject of any number of kooky conspiracy theories tying them to everything from the JFK assassination to every time your gasoline goes up a nickel at the local pump.

I guess you can add me to that crowd. Any day now, I expect a visit from the Secret Service.